We are naming two Quidditch All-Star teams with real athletes based on whose skills would translate best to the four positions. In case you missed them, here are the posts in which we named the keepers and chasers. Jimmy made the point last week that NBA passers would be better than shooters. So we’re replacing Ray Allen and Jimmer with Steve Nash and Deron Williams. Nash is obviously one of the greatest PGs and passers ever. Chris Paul is the consensus best PG in the league right now, but I’m a homer so I’m going with D-Will. Also, Deron has set the record the Skills Challenge and is a pro at dodgeball, which should translate well.
This week we are doing Beaters, the position with the sole purpose of hitting a ball at the other team’s players to hurt them.
Beaters: “There are two Beaters on every Quidditch team, and they are the only players on the pitch who have bats. Their job is to keep the Bludgers away from their team and at the same time try and aim the Bludgers towards the opposite team. Beaters need to be well built, having considerable physical strength in their arms since they are charged with hitting the Bludgers through out the whole match.”
Beaters obviously most closely resemble batters from baseball. It’s only logical that two of the MLB’s top sluggers, Albert Pujols and Adrian Gonzalez, each make a team. (I would’ve considered this guy if I weren’t convinced it’s fake.)
I haven’t found consistent numbers, but the top male tennis players in the world first serves average around 115 miles an hour, I believe. The fastest are around 130. They also understand angles and how to aim, which is important since they have to be able to hit the other players who are literally flying by. Since any of the top players could hold their own, I’m going with Rafa Nadal because I’m pretty sure he recently got dumped on national TV. Too bad for Rafa they don’t play Quidditch on clay.
I considered recruiting the Sedin twins (since red headed twins seem to have a knack for beating, but the final Beater spot goes to Zdeno Chara of the Boston Bruins. To see why, go to about the 4:00 minute mark on this video. Sure slap shots are very different than batting (or beatering for that matter), but he’s proven he can hit hard. Plus he plays hockey so we already know he’s tough.
The All-Star teams are shaping up:
|Chudley Cannons||Montrose Magpies|
|Keeper||Hope Solo||Dwight Howard|
|Chaser||Payton Manning||Tom Brady|
|Chaser||Steve Nash||Deron Williams|
|Chaser||Justin Verlander||Roy Halladay|
|Beater||Albert Pujols||Adrian Gonzalez|
|Beater||Zdeno Chara||Rafael Nadal|
So what do you think. Will these guys make solid Beaters? Who would you pick?